guys I can not help blowing ass constantly at work. It usually happpens after lunch but it continues throughout the rest of the afternoon. I'm not laxtos or anything, but I kind of think its funny and when I do blow ass, I usually walk away so no one thinks its me. I also eat many different kinds of food, so it doesnt matter what I eat. Does anyone else have this problem? I've never gotten caught or someone blames it on me, but if anyone ever balmed it on me I would deny it. Does anyone else have this problem? :cripwalk:
I play basketball at the Y on my lunch break. We play 4 on 4 cross court. I let er fly, and watch people blaming everyone else. Comments like "damn Johnson, that is your brand", or damn Miller what the hell did you have for breakfast".
Immature as hell, but also funny. Something about watching people react cracks me up. My brother got my 12 year old son a fart machine for Christmas (thanks bro), and I get more use out of that thing than anyone. It has 9 different variations of farts, with a remote control. Tape the machine under a chair at work, and watch the fun.
Immature as hell, but also funny. Something about watching people react cracks me up. My brother got my 12 year old son a fart machine for Christmas (thanks bro), and I get more use out of that thing than anyone. It has 9 different variations of farts, with a remote control. Tape the machine under a chair at work, and watch the fun.
the best place to blow ass is in a bar. Once I did it right in the middle of a crowd of people in the middle of the bar and it stunk like absolute shit. All the girls were pinching the ends of their noeses and I just walked away. I proceeded to stand off to the side as everyone in the middle of the bar was blaming some other guy. It was priceless!
Any fart stories please share!!!
Any fart stories please share!!!
I had to let one go by the copy machine in the copy room and I was all alone. About 20 seconds after I let it go one of my co-workers walked in. I just knew she smelled it.
------------
Another time I was working at an assembly job so we would let them fly all the time. I loved to eat at Chinese buffets so I would get cauliflower and broccoli marinated in garlic sauce along with the other meats. I just knew it was the cauliflower that gave me the horrible, horrible farts.
I would let them go regularly and it would stink so bad even I couldn't stand it. I told a friend that I was going to let one go and he said go ahead and he stayed around to smell it. He couldn't take it.
------------
At that same job I met another guy who like to let farts. He used to have a jar of garlic that he would eat with all his foods. He and I had would let farts all day long and laugh. That was 20 years ago. We are still good friends to this day. In fact, the ring tone he has on his cell phone for when I call is the sound of a bunch of farts.
------------
Another time I was working at an assembly job so we would let them fly all the time. I loved to eat at Chinese buffets so I would get cauliflower and broccoli marinated in garlic sauce along with the other meats. I just knew it was the cauliflower that gave me the horrible, horrible farts.
I would let them go regularly and it would stink so bad even I couldn't stand it. I told a friend that I was going to let one go and he said go ahead and he stayed around to smell it. He couldn't take it.
------------
At that same job I met another guy who like to let farts. He used to have a jar of garlic that he would eat with all his foods. He and I had would let farts all day long and laugh. That was 20 years ago. We are still good friends to this day. In fact, the ring tone he has on his cell phone for when I call is the sound of a bunch of farts.
Fart machines are the best, I used to carry one in my back pocket while training clerks for a sportsbook. Everytime I would bend down to walk a kid through a bet I would be ripping electric farts in the faces of the guy behind me. It was classic because they were afraid to say something because they were new and didnt want to get in trouble with the Gringos.
good stories men. I actually had one today happne to me. I was in the copy room and no one was around so I let one rip. It wasn't loud or anything, it was an SBD. but let me tell u it was fucking ripe man. I mean its smelled like dead seagulls. It was so nasty. So withing 30 seconds later this woman walks in that I know very well. She looks at me and my face turns red. I knew she knew i blew ass. So she say's"what did you have for lunch?" And in my mind i was like fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!! I said I didnt eat yet(even thouhg I did) and she says,"oh what is that smell? I said with confidence, "Dave just walked out" she goes ewww I'm staying away from him. So I was off the hook.
bwahaahahahahhahahahahahhaha
anymore stories guys?
bwahaahahahahhahahahahahhaha
anymore stories guys?
I have to tell you what happened to me last night. I woke up right around 3am. My guts were churning. I thought for sure I would have to drop a healthy log but that never happens to me at that time of the morning.
So I decided to let her rip and belted out a huge fart that must have changed notes 3 times. I wanted to make sure I didn't have to drop one so I sat on the toilet and tooted out another empty gift.
When I woke up I felt so refreshed. I hadn't slept like that in weeks. Maybe my farts were keeping me from resting well and letting one out in the middle of the night gave me relief.
I'll let you know what happens tonight.
So I decided to let her rip and belted out a huge fart that must have changed notes 3 times. I wanted to make sure I didn't have to drop one so I sat on the toilet and tooted out another empty gift.
When I woke up I felt so refreshed. I hadn't slept like that in weeks. Maybe my farts were keeping me from resting well and letting one out in the middle of the night gave me relief.
I'll let you know what happens tonight.
